Review: Independence Day: Resurgence

1/2

Sofa King We Todd Did.

Put it together, what do you get? I’ll tell you: a basic summary of what Independence Day: Resurgence is like.

20 years, millions of dollars, and five screenwriters added up to this? Independence Day: Resurgence is an entertaining and visually stunning  disaster, to say the least. It took 20 years for a sequel. Why? Because nobody was really asking for it, but yet they’ve spent all this time trying to cook up something.

They shouldn’t have.

How do I begin to describe just how bad this film is? Well I guess before I do that, I might as well dive into the “story.” I’ll just say that its fairly obvious that in the story department, there wasn’t much new ground to cover. But I’ll also say that director Roland Emmerich, known for his planet destroying, puts on a show. Not a good show, but a show nonetheless.

This time around, we find the former President Whitmore (Bill Pullman, unfortunately pulling for a Razzie nom) scruffy, bearded, and plagued by nightmares of another alien invasion. Soon, we realize that his nightmares are actually a reality, and now they’re back. That’s about all I could gather in terms of actual story, considering the rest is a bunch of hooey.

Jeff Goldblum returns as David Levinson, and so does Judd Hirsch as his father. Be thankful for them. Not saying that they do anything particularly special (Goldblum plays himself, Hirsch is a Jewish stereotype), but they serve as a reminder of what made the first one such fun. So does Brent Spiner. Vivica A. Fox shows up for a paycheck that she desperately needs. And as I mentioned above, Pullman is sadly awful, overacting his ass off for two hours straight.

And then there’s the new cast members, and good lord, they are the WORST. Not Charlotte Gainsbourg necessarily, but her character literally adds up to nothing. Liam Hemsworth plays a Maverick knockoff, while Maika Monroe, excellent in last year’s It Follows, plays Whitmore’s daughter and Hemsworth’s girlfriend. Both have a romance that you simply just don’t care about. The worst of the batch though is Jessie T. Usher as the son of Will Smith’s son from the previous film.

OH YEAH, stupid spoiler alert.

Smith show to stardom after Independence Day. He brought so much charisma to that role and what not. He’s missing in action this time, probably because he knew better. But their explanation as to what happened to his character is what baffles me. Apparently, he was killed in a training exercise. Really? After saving the world from aliens, a training exercise is what did the job?

I admit that watching Independence Day: Resurgence, I did have fun, but not for reasons you’d think. I was simply so entertained by the stupidity being served. It’s a shame too, because this film is pretty visually impressive. And yes, I admit that I was thoroughly entertaining. Terrible and boring is one thing; terrible and entertaining is another.

I will also admit that I hated life many, many times during this film, mostly thanks to the new cast members. They’re all just so terrible. And the baffling thing about this film is that the screenplay has five writing credits, not just because this is an Independence Day sequel, but also because a lot of the dialogue consists of “yeeeeeeeaaaahs” or “aaaaaaaaaaahhhh” or “whoaaaaaaaaaas.” Seriously. If there is a supercut of the screaming once this film is released on DVD, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised. I laughed my ass off, but not usually at their attempts at “humor.” But rather, the cringe-worthy performances and dialogue. And to tie off my rant, it must also be noted that characters bite the dust… and we really couldn’t care any less. Seriously. They treat these deaths as a big emotional moment, but trust me, every eye in the house will be dry.

So, why one and a half stars? I wish I had an explanation. The ending hints at a third film, and God willing, that won’t happen. There’s a reason why it took twenty years for a sequel: there was simply no need, and no new ground to cover. So, take round 3, and keep it to yourself please.

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